


The Shape of Sewer Water

by ShipsInTheNightPodcast



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Community: crossfandom, Crossover, F/M, Inspired by The Shape of Water (2017), Sex, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 01:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipsInTheNightPodcast/pseuds/ShipsInTheNightPodcast
Summary: Hermione, now working for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, is asked to examine a new aquatic creature discovered in New York City. She learns that his name is Donatello, and may find that they have a deep, intellectual connection... but is there more?





	The Shape of Sewer Water

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Shape of Sewer Water](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/529970) by Zach L Wilson & Greg Goodness. 

> "The Shape of Sewer Water"  
Written by Zach L Wilson & Greg Goodness  
Story by Zach L Wilson, Greg Goodness, and Matt Lieberman  
Created as part of the "Ships in the Night" Podcast  
Initial brainstorming session available in episode "09: Belle/The Hulk, Donatello/Hermione, Matchmaking Dr. Rusty Venture w/ Matt Lieberman"  
Fully produced PodFic of this story can be heard in the episode "Ships Theater: The Shape of Sewer Water"

Hermione slumped down the hall of the Ministry of Magic. Another day, another assignment. The corridors that had once seemed exotic and full of life’s possibilities had fallen into a routine of paperwork and bureaucracy. Long gone were her days of battling dark wizards, yet in some perverse way she wished for a rule to break, a boundary to be crossed, something to excite her heart and perhaps something deeper.

“This magical creature is the strangest yet,” squeaked Neville, blowing mucus into a heavily-used handkerchief, “We found it wandering a sewer in New York.”

“Have you cross-referenced with Scamander’s journals?” asked Hermione, putting on a white lab robe.

“Yes, but Fantastic Beasts always leaves me unsatisfied. Like it’s okay, but-”

“Yes, I’ve heard your rant before, Neville,” Hermione said, cutting him off. “I’ll just have to examine the creature myself.”

So Hermione entered the chamber, leaving Neville behind, not at all prepared for the magic she was about to encounter.

The mutant turtle-man beast called out immediately from it’s tank, “Hey, can I like, get a slice of pepperoni in here? Extra cheese would be radical.”

His turtle features were strong and masculine, but with a boyish charm, almost like that of a teenager - but for the purposes of this story, definitely 18. 

The beast held a long staff in his hands and tapped it against the glass, “You’re new. I’m Donatello.”

“Hello, Donatello, I’m Hermione, head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. If you don’t mind me asking… what are you?”

“I’m a ninja,” Donatello belted, accentuating the point with some sweet-ass karate moves. “I’m also a computer scientist. I make software and hardware and machines that launch sewer caps into people’s faces.”

Hermione jotted notes on her clipboard. “A fascinating specimen,” she wrote down. “Clearly reptilian, but with an impressive humanoid muscular structure.”

She tried to stay objective, but she couldn’t help but notice his rippling green biceps. A bead of sweat dripped down her forehead. “Brains and brawn? I guess you’re the whole package.”

Donatello flipped on his back and floated in the water. Hermione admired his grace. So at ease, and yet so powerful. “I guess you could say I’m the smartest of my brothers. It’s hard, being the one who always knows all the answers. But you wouldn’t understand.”

Hermione’s heart jumped, “That’s how I’ve felt my whole life.”

“What?!” screamed Donatello pressing his bow staff to the glass, “I can’t hear you through all this thick glass. And the shape of the water in this cylindrical tank doesn’t help either. The acoustics are terrible.”

Hermione pressed her wand to the same spot as his bow and the water level instantly lowered, a small wave forming in the tank, which Donatello rode closer to her, yelling “Cowabunga!” as he did. 

“I also surf,” he offered, staring into her eyes. Here he was, a fellow intellectual she could converse with and perhaps more… Donatello brushed the hair back from her face. 

“You ask a lot of questions, like a reporter,” he said, leaning in closer to her, “I like that.”

Hermione desperately tried to maintain her composure, “The ministry sent me to examine you.”

Donatello got even closer, and Hermione could feel his breath on her lips.

“Which part do you want to examine first?”

“Why don’t I show you?”

Hermione laid her hand on Donatello’s face, his skin was wet, and so was she. Slowly she caressed her hand around the back of his head feeling his ninja mask and pulling on one end to remove it.

“No,” he whispered, “leave it on.”

And in an instant her mouth was enveloped by his lipless beak. That’s what turtles have, beaks. But Hermione wasn’t thinking about that. No, her mind and body were both fascinated as she ran her fingers down the curves of his shell to discover that what she thought was his bow staff pressing against her leg, was actually a two-foot long dark blue turtle dick - which scientifically is proportional to what a human sized turtle would have.

Taking a step back to admire the sight in front of her, Hermione looked Donatello up and down as she slowly unbuttoned her robe. Hermione let her clothing fall to the floor in a heap, now as naked as the Ninja Turtle in front of her. She pushed him up against the wall of the tank.

“I’m gonna ride you like a Nimbus 2000.”

“I’m gonna pound you like the Foot Clan.”

Neither of them understood the other’s references. They didn’t need to. They were speaking a universal language: love.

Donatello slowly retracted his legs into his body lowering himself until his face met with Hermione’s pelvis. She shuddered as she felt his breath blow across her curly brown bush. He kissed the skin of each of her thighs back and forth, slowly getting closer and closer to her slit. As his beak pressed into her pussy, his tongue found the clit with ninja like speed. He ran circles around it, sending chills down Hermione’s spine. It was so intense, she almost fell over, but Donatello was quick and caught her before she hit the floor. 

Sitting up and looking across at this enchanting amphibian, Hermione beckoned him towards her, “Are all Turtles as good as you?”

“Heh, I studied for this exam.”

And with that, she wrapped her fingers around his cock and stroking it with the tips of her fingers. She was being as gentle as she’d have been with a bowtruckle, and the light touch was making Donatello twitch across his whole body. 

As Donatello fell to his back, Hermione climbed on top of him, her hands balancing on his chest as she lowered herself onto his enormous cock. She gasped as she felt him slide past her lips and go deep inside her. Deeper than any man, especially Ron, had ever gone. The sensation was so pleasurable she could barely think straight. All she could do was keep riding up and down on this unbelievable creature’s appendage.

The feeling was so intense, it was like someone has cast a cheering charm inside of her. She kept riding, up and down, cast in a trance. Just as she thought she couldn’t hold back her orgasm any longer, Donny stopped and smoothly said to her, “Hold on, babe, check this out.”

In a moment of ninja like grace, Donatello spun his body in a circle, pulling his limbs into his shell, launching Hermione into the air towards the tank as he cried out, “Turtle power!”

“Oh my…”

She didn’t know how he could move that fast, but he was already laying in the water. He caught her right back onto his giant turtle cock.

He thrust in and out of her, with a grin across his face and a finger on her clit, “I love being a turtle!” And in that moment, the pure joy brought them both to an almost blindingly powerful orgasm.

The halls of the Ministry echoed with Hermione’s cries of pleasure. Donatello fell back into the tank, trying to catch his breath. His turtle seed oozed out of Hermione, a sign of their shared love. As the two of them lay there, floating in the middle of the tank, Hermione silently played with Donatello’s flaccid turtle penis. 

“You ready for round two?” she whispered to him. But before he could even respond, she grabbed her wand and with a flourish, she spoke aloud, “Leviosa Erectus.”

Donatello, once again hard, looked over at his new lover, and uttered but a single word… “Cowabunga.”


End file.
